Dollars and Jens
Monday, May 17, 2004
Monkeys with Typewriters
A sufficiently large number of monkeys with typewriters, given sufficient time, will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare. A single monkey with a free half hour between lunch and feces-throwing is more likely to come up with this chain-email I recently received:
---------------------------- Original Message ----------------------------Capitalization, punctuation, and spelling as in the original. If I had time, I might try to educate by dissecting the attempted analysis. As it is, I'm just going to let the already-educated have a mild laugh.
Subject: DON'T BUY GAS MAY 19TH!
We should all make it a point to do this. I just want to see what will really happen. These gas prices are out of control and there's really not a legitimate reason for it.
> IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES DID NOT
PURCHASE A DROP OF GASOLINE FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES.
> AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OF
OVER 4.6 BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES.
> THEREFORE MAY 19TH HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED "STICK IT UP THEIR
behind " DAY AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF
GASOLINE THAT DAY.
> THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS
MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT.
> WAITING ON THIS ADMIINSTRATION TO STEP IN AND CONTROL THE PRICES IS
NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REDUCTION AND CONTROL IN PRICES THAT THE ARAB NATIONS PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO?
REMEMBER ONE THING, NOT ONLY IS THE PRICE OF GASOLINE GOING UP BUT AT
> THE SAME TIME AIRLINES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES, TRUCKING
COMPANIES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES WHICH EFFECTS PRICES ON EVERYTHING THAT IS SHIPPED. THINGS LIKE FOOD, CLOTHING, BUILDING MATERIALS, MEDICAL SUPPLIES ETC. WHO PAYS IN THE END? WE DO!
WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DON'T GET THE MESSAGE AFTER ONE DAY,WE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.
> SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD. FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE
YOU KNOW. MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND MAKE MAY 19TH A DAY THAT THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES SAY "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"